Crossing Over To A Developed Country From India

It's been close to fifteen months since I have lived in Australia now and it's been such a mixed bag. My first day in Melbourne is still fresh in my mind - as if it was just yesterday that in a cliched style, I arrived here with two suitcases ready for a more promising life. I had never lived outside my home country so I took this as a personal challenge and decided to leave behind my 'comfort zone' in pursuit of more self-reliance and independence.

I was going to take on a new job with one of the top five consulting firms of the world. I was ecstatic. Dreams do come true.

When you relocate to a different continent, your experience is likely to follow the hype curve for a technology. You are initially enamoured by the riches of a developed country (well, I am from India you see) only to hit a point where there is no option but to plummet. And it hits you real hard - like someone burst your bubble (see trough of disillusionment below). It is crushing. You do find a way around your situation but deep down you know the experience will never be the same again. In the ensuing months, you will need to hold your own and find your feet so you don't start reconsidering your life choices.

This is the most difficult transition and just having a mindset that you can power through, is a battle half won.

Hype Curve

Don't get me wrong, I am in no way implying that moving to a different continent doesn't have any merit. I have evolved tremendously in the last one year and I am immensely grateful for this experience. I am just saying, you need to fathom the degree of change you will need to incorporate in your personality and if it's personally worth it for you.

There are of course exceptions to this but most professionals at some point harbour the desire to move overseas. They don't realise how isolating this experience can be - especially if you are introverted or ambiverted by disposition and are moving to a white nation from a non-white country. If you are resistant to change, this experience can dampen your spirit and can eventually leave you feeling disillusioned.

Treat the following part of this blog as a primer on some challenges you might face if you are contemplating such a shift and how you can circumvent these. This is purely based on my personal experiences and is no way exhaustive.

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(A) Fish out of water :- Once the initial dust of shift has settled, you can find yourself feeling like a fish out of water. This is purely based on two accounts - language and culture.

Yes, you might speak flawless english but let's face it, it is not your first language. In fact, for me neither is 'Hindi', most Indians speak a combination of hindi and english, hence the portmanteau 'Hinglish'. This naturally dawns upon you, as english becomes your de facto language. This coupled with fully grasping other people's accent, can frankly be mind numbing. It can be challenging to fully articulate yourself in both professional and social settings. People look askance at you if they see you struggling to put your thoughts together while communicating.

To combat this, I started doing the following:-

- Getting familiarised with Australian slangs (yes, being 'crook' is a thing here in addition to 'brekkie', 'brolly' amongst the myriad others)

- Switching to 'thinking' in the english language at all times so I wouldn't end up translating from hindi

- Slowing down my speech. Often times when you start talking, you feel rushed to complete your sentences just so your audience doesn't lose its attention span. It's ok. People generally engage more if they follow you which is unlikely to happen if the communication is fast paced.

The other aspect which is probably harder is being in tune with the culture of the new city. This one is probably going to take much longer unless you are from one of the developed white nations. The culture, in that case, is quite transferrable, the pop culture especially is very similar. Coming from India, all you can engage in is bollywood or cricket - such a bummer! You have different food habits, leisure activities (c'mon skateboarding in India, are you kidding me?), it's incredibly difficult to keep pace with the international fashion trends amongst other things. This requires a bit of effort and finding common ground with other people.

The following will act as a catalyst if you want to accelerate cultural integration:-

- Staying in sync with local fashion so you don't stand out in the crowd. One of the first things I did for instance was to buy a set of headphones - you'll see everyone wearing one in Melbourne

- Experiment with popular food items in that city. I devoured a lot of HSPs and meat pies in the initial months here, so much so that I can't even bear the sight of these now

- Being more outdoorsy and sharing those experiences with friends/colleagues

- Taking keen interest in the country's history

(B) Dealing with 'first world' problems :- I increasingly find myself grappling with problems I never honestly thought about in India. Questions like - 'What am I doing over the weekend?' or 'Where's my next holiday?' are a far cry from whingeing about 'power outages' or 'potholes' or 'traffic problems' back home. I can now understand why people graduate from psychological needs to self-actualisation in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

You can navigate this space by doing the following:-

- Always have a holiday booked-in. It'll be something for you to look forward to and can provide you talking points when you meet people. It'll be a bonus if you get some good recommendations from people regarding your choice of holiday

- Identifying your passion (if you don't have any) and actively pursuing it. This is really crucial as the kind of work-life balance that you get in Australia is unparalleled

- Appreciate the opportunity. Do not take what you've been given for granted and make the most of it.

(C) Coming to terms with 'white privilege' :- Yes, it is a real thing and you see it everyday. Every white person you'd meet would have travelled a lot and would know a lot more about the world than an average joe from a developing country. People here get exposed to a lot of things early on which helps them organically zero in on things that interest them. This helps them build a good multi-dimensional personality. This is the biggest entry barrier in making genuine connections with people and makes you play catch-up all the time. You realise there are so many things you were oblivious of while these were matters of common knowledge amongst people here. This is, in fact, the single biggest factor that precludes a true integration in the new city - resulting in the experience being more solitude.

The pressures from all sides can become insurmountable - cultural integration, professional fitment, making new friends, developing key interests - it can be a tad bit too much. This results in being under the pump all the time and having a reactive approach towards life. You can feel like a chicken with its head cut off as you scramble to catch-up on other dimensions of life. For instance, you realise people don't just listen to music or watch movies - they follow genres while every bollywood movie you've watched was purely because of the actor starring in it. They travel a lot which gives them a good understanding of other cultures. They cover a breadth of things and have depth in a few. Unlike people from developing countries where just scratching the surface of a few things is good enough.

Here's what you can do to keep up with the white privilege:-

- Accept that it's going to be a steep learning curve. Don't think of this onerous task as something that can be achieved in a few months' time. Be realistic and don't push yourself too hard

- Own it and let people educate you. Don't nod along, pretending you understand something when you don't. Ask questions. Let people illuminate you - about food, culture, their interests etc. There should be no shame in accepting you don't know something

- Cultivate curiosity. But be directionally curious so you are learning something that adds on to your interests while taking everything else with a pinch of salt. Otherwise, there are so many things to learn and you'll feel overwhelmed by the cognitive overload.

- Sorry you've missed the bus. If you are over 30, you can no longer cover the breadth of topics so it makes more sense to go deep into areas that fascinate you. Identify these and claim them as yours

- Try and learn a new thing every day. Even if it's as simple as trying a different cuisine or trying coffee from a different place

It'll be pie in the sky for you to think that you'll completely adjust in the new country in a couple of months. It takes at least a year to find your feet and it's pretty normal. The more patient you are, the better yields your adjustment will show in the future i.e. making good friends, understanding where you fit in socially/professionally.

Don't wait to adjust, it'll take its natural course until then enjoy the little things - the food, talking to people and just enjoy yourself. Learn how you can evolve to become a more holistic person. If you are looking at adjusting in Melbourne, let me tell you - the food and coffee are definitely worth the effort.